Transcript: She Was Raised Wrong (QR 013)

June 9, 2021

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Tara 0:00
Hey everybody! Welcome back, it is Episode 13.

Kris 0:25
Wooo! 13! How has your last couple weeks been?

Tara 0:29
Uh, you know what, they’ve been pretty good. I am feeling pretty proud because for the first time in my life ever, I have a little flower bed.

Kris 0:41

Tara 0:42
I’ve never had any kind of gardens. So we moved into our house 13 years ago. And then we did nothing with flower beds that were here, we kind of let that we were like, we took like a, “You know what? Go with God” kind of approach. We let them rewild. And I didn’t know anything about plants. When I started my job at the company that I’m with now, five years ago, they gave me a plant in a pot. Everybody that starts with this company – actually, I don’t know if they do this anymore bow that we’re all in this context of working at home and we’ve been doing this for year – but like before that everybody when they start they get a plants. And I was like, “Holy shit, what are you doing? That is a lot of pressure to put on me. I’ve never kept a plant alive before”. I kept that plant alive.

Kris 1:29

Tara 1:30
Well, I gave it to somebody else. Because they moved me to a desk that had no, it was in a pot with no sun. And I was like, “Well, okay, if I have to move then like the person who gets my desk also gets this plant”. But I felt confident enough that I could keep plants and I actually have a lot of plants around the house now. I think I have, I dunno, 20 or 30 plants around the house.

Kris 1:51
Oh my gosh

Tara 1:52
Yeah, I have quite a few plants. And this year, Neil was like, well, the last few years, Neil keeps saying, “I mean, you really like plants. Do you want to try gardening?” And then this is the year where he’s like, “I mean, come on”. And so he hired some people to come and unfuck the flowerbed and they just, like ripped all that shit out. He’s like, “So what are you gonna do about it?” I was like, “Oh my god.”

So he was talking to her next door neighbor, who kind of went through a similar process a few years ago and so she’s farther ahead than me. My problem is that when I don’t know what I don’t know about something, I kind of get stuck.

Kris 2:32

Tara 2:33
So with this, my problem is that I didn’t know like, I don’t know what kind of plants work well in Calgary, because you can get snow anytime of year here. Our soil is very clay-based. I don’t know about like sun versus shade. I don’t know anything.

Kris 2:52

Tara 2:53
Like any thing. But you know who does know? Stacy, my friend Stacy, who lives next door and it is one of my best friends. Actually, we talked about Stacy before because Stacey is the friend who recommended The Long Way To… Well, it’s the book by Becky Chambers that also has a long title. What is it? A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet? I don’t know. I probably got the title wrong.

But anyway, when Stacy tells you to do something, you can trust her because Stacy knows her shit about everything. She’s just one of those people that like, she is authoritative. And she is correct. She always is correct. I always believe her. And so she, and she was so excited because she had like ordered all of her plants. But like, she was like “I can help you”. And so she- and she’s also an artist. And so she like drew out. She drew the flower bed for me. Like she planned it. And then she kind of coached me and came over and planted alongside me. My muscles are sore now. I am so glad that I’ve been working out for a year and a half. Holy shit, Kris. Gardening is a workout. And now I feel like I had a good workout yesterday. It’s like the good sore muscles. Because if I hadn’t done that I would be obliterated and we would not be recording the podcast today, because I would not be vertical.

The other thing that I appreciate about Stacey, something that we kind of bonded over because she chose most of the plants, but I also chose some as well. And we have a similar thing for how we chose certain plants, which is that we chose them based on their names. For example, we both chose Day Lilies and she chose Day Lillies that were called Primal Scream, because how do you not choose a Day Lily called Primal Scream. And I chose the Day Lilies that were called Nosferatu because of course I’m going to choose a Day Lily that’s called Nosferatu. That is the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Kris 4:58
That’s amazing.

Tara 4:59
But she had asked me as she was planning, she’s like, “Do you want to get annuals or perennials?” And I said, “What is the difference?” And she’s like, “Well, annuals, like, you plant them and they die”. And I was like, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Kris 5:09
Why? Why? Why have annuals?

Tara 5:12
No, no, no, like I get that like there’s a chance perennials might die mostly because I don’t know what I’m doing. And like, I’m going to try my best and if they die because of my lack of skill, well, that’s a thing that happens, but I’m hoping not to murder them.

Kris 5:29
Lilies are resilient. They are truly resilient.

Tara 5:32
That’s the hope.

Kris 5:33
They’ll come back. Yeah, they’ll come back.

Tara 5:35
That’s the hope but like, I’m not going to buy things that I know are going to die at the end of the year. Hell no. I want like some starting with this small bed I have the other beds we put kind of like some shrubs and trees and shit. And we’ll see kind of how they grow up and out. But like I want some I can add to and then eventually, I don’t have to add anything anymore.

Kris 5:53

Tara 5:54
I just need to like murder the weeds as they come.

Kris 5:59
But not murder the plants or the flowers. You don’t want to do that.

Tara 6:03
No, this it was so funny because as we were doing the planting yesterday Stacy was like, “Are you okay if I’m like telling you what to do?” I’m like, “No, tell me what to do like I’m five because I literally don’t know what to do”. And she’s like, “Did your Mom have flower beds?” And I said “Yes”.

Kris 6:20
Nobody pays attention when they’re a kid about flowers

Tara 6:22
Well, and I remember my mom sending me out to do the weeding and then getting scolded because I was pulling out flowers because I didn’t know what were weeds and what were flowers.

Kris 6:32
They all look the same.

Tara 6:32
And guess who didn’t weed again. And I wasn’t even- I was not sabotag- I was not doing you know, like that thing.

Kris 6:38
On purpose.

Tara 6:38
Yeah, I wasn’t doing it on purpose to never have to do it again. I genuinely didn’t know cuz I remember like, on the school yard like the clover like those weeds were like, it’s they’re flower weeds. They’re pretty.

Kris 6:51
They are pretty.

Tara 6:53
So yeah, that’s the big- That’s the big excitement in the Scott house. We might have flowers. If I don’t kill them before they bloom.

Kris 7:03
I think you’ll be fine. I like perennials. I have planted some lilies as well just because they are resilient. And sometimes they multiply.

Tara 7:13
So there could be a lot of Nosferatus and a bunch of Primal Screaming happening up in this house.

Kris 7:21
So like my thing is my tattoos on my body are all flower motifs. And actually, I have a lily on my shoulder.

Tara 7:30
Very nice. Actually, my left arm sleeve is all flowers as well. Although none of them- Nobody else but you can see this one. I’m like twisting my arm around to check. None of them are lilies because they’re the flowers that my grandmother grew. So I have carnations and pansies and roses and violets and then up kind of the back of the triceps are gladiolas.

Kris 8:00
So you’re a flower child?

Tara 8:01
Yes, ish. So the other exciting thing that happened over the last couple of weeks that your patrons would know about, but maybe not everybody else is that we did another episode of Drunk Lesfic.

Kris 8:14
We did. And it was fun. It was it was a good time.

Tara 8:18
It was a lot of fun.

Kris 8:19
We had- Yes, so Tagan Shepard, she had reached out and she wanted to do Drunk Lesfic because we both had books coming out June 1st at our respective publishing companies. June 1st. And I think Tagan’s comes out general release on the 22nd of June and mine is the 15th of June. Not Guilty. Brit Ryder. So not really me, but sort of me. Yeah. So yeah, so we decided to- we actually facetimed and half an hour before our Drunk Lesfic to drink a martini together, just like to have to start it. And then we popped on over to the Zoom call. And we started our conversation and started the video that way. Because you know, we kind of want to just to you know, get comfortable and just kind of hang out for a little bit. like you would if you were like somewhere else, you’re getting ready to do something you would hang out and chat. So we did. By the end of it I had three martinis, three lemondrop martinis. Tagan I think only had one, which so I mean, I couldn’t even say “books”. I had the hardest time saying “books”. So but there’s a lot of fun. I mean, I enjoyed I really enjoyed the book, Swipe Right. I’m totally sober and I have a hard time saying that. But it’s good. It’s a contemporary romance, and had to do of course with dating apps and swiping right. It was a really good book. I liked it

Tara 9:43
I still haven’t read it yet. I’m the one who’s been playing a lot of video games lately. And gardening!

Kris 9:52
And gardening! You’ve had a lot going on. I have not.

Tara 9:55
I have, it’s nbeen busy, but I’m excited about that one. It sounds super cute. And that was- It was a lot of fun. And you guys got a lot less drunk than you and Rey did during the first one. And so it was a lot easier to moderate. And then also Tagan and I went way off topic.

Kris 10:18
I had to leave for a little bit. I picked up my phone and just started checking my emails because I lost them both to games. Never mention games during Drunk Lesfic. Any starting games, vdeo games, forget it, like just don’t.

Tara 10:33
I hope it was at least fun for your patrons to listen to.

Kris 10:37
I was. I’m hoping so. We’re actually going to like I think we’re going to publish it live and have a lot of people anybody who wants to see it can see it.

Tara 10:45
I think Mass Effect fans are gonna love that part of it

Kris 10:49
For sure. And I’m like Mass Effect? And I only know that because of our last podcast when you started talking about it. And it was funny because after Drunk Lesfic and the last podcast drop Tagan reached out to like “I’m super sorry about I didn’t realize you guys are talking about it on this podcast”. And then during Drunk Lesfic, you know, expanded on it. Okay, I got caught up on emails, text messages, I was entertaining myself. So it was fun. We had a good time. It’s kind of a fun thing, because everybody’s more relaxed. And you don’t have to worry so much about saying either the right or the wrong things. It’s just, it’s just fun. And it’s kind of like you know, your truths come out when you have been drinking. And I feel like we were both very truthful about the stories and the representation in the stories and how much we liked it. And it was just a good time. I had fun. I didn’t think I would do another one. But I think this is gonna be a thing.

Tara 11:47
Ohhhhh. So if you want to have a listen as Brit Ryder slash Kris Bryant and Tagan Shepherd get kind of drunk and talk about each other’s new releases, just head on over to Kris’s Patreon. We will include a link in the show notes to this episode, and you just have to become a patron. Remember, all the money goes to a good cause. Does it still go to buying wet food for animal shelters?

Kris 12:17
Yes. So what we’ve done I first started out as buying what food for dogs and cats, older senior dogs and cats at shelters who couldn’t eat kibble. You know, it’s more expensive to buy wet food for animals than it is for you know, the kibble. A lot of places donate kibble, like a lot like Purina and things like that they donate a lot of kibble to shelters around the country. So I just decided, well, let’s get some wet food out to you know, something to do. We were, you know, down in quarantine, we couldn’t do anything, go anywhere. And I kind of want to get in front of people. And so it just just I just decided to open up this Patreon page and do this. And so now it’s kind of grown. And so what we do is every month now is we pick a certain patron and have them give us the shelter of their choice. And then I go online and I find that the shelter’s wishlist, a lot of times they have an Amazon wishlist. And so what I do is I just go ahead and take our pledges for the month and buy everything I can from the wishlist, and send it directly to that patron, so that they can get involved and then take all this stuff to the actual shelter that they chose. So it’s kind of fun it gets everybody involved, and they send pictures and you know, it’s a fun little group that we have.

Tara 13:30
There you go. So the money goes to good cause and you get to watch two authors get pretty drunk, have fun talking about each other’s books. And then me completely sober, still, kind of acting like I’m a little bit drunk because I get so excited talking about one of my favorite ships of all time. What more could you ask for?

Kris 13:53
It was, yeah, it’s a it’s a lot of fun. Plus, I also do a lot of, you know, I interview a lot of writers and other people. It’s not just you know, all about me. It’s about like, what other people you know, I’ve had Melissa Brayden on I’ve had Georgia Beers. My next guest is Finnian Burnett.

Tara 14:10
Very good.

Kris 14:10
I know. So that’s gonna be fun. Um, so anyway, so enough about that. Let’s talk about a couple other things about our podcast. So we want to give a massive thank you to as the ratings and the reviews continue to come in on Apple podcasts. So I’m going to read one of them. Karen from Virginia Beach says Queerly Recommended is her favorite podcast and shares it in a review. “I don’t listen to many different podcasts, but I never miss this one. I always get a show or movie recommendation I might not otherwise have known about. Love it.” So thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Karen. So as you can tell every reading fuck me every rating and review matters because they really do help other listeners find the show so they can enjoy our shenanigans, hopefully and also walk away with a recommendation whether it’s a movie or a book or a TV show So thank you very much, Karen, for your nice review.

Tara 15:02
Thank you, Karen. That’s so sweet. We’re so I don’t know, I love hearing that it’s your favorite podcast. But I also just love hearing that, you know, not only do you love hearing us be silly every week, but that you’re walking away with, you know, some really meaningful recommendations.

Kris 15:18

Tara 15:19
And now it’s time for listener questions. The first one Kris is actually for you, Jennie. Jennie from Twitter asks “Kris, where do you write? Do you write everywhere? Or do you actually have like somewhere special that you write?”

Kris 15:33
Well, pre pandemic, I was going to- I used to write on the weekends with KB Draper, who’s an indie writer. And we would meet at The Roastery in Kansas City. And we’d like write for five hour blocks, either The Roastery coffee shop, or we would go to the opera house down in the river market in Kansas City, and write there for four hours, four or five hours. But I pretty much just write wherever I can, it’s never like, like, I can never set up a favorite place. Because I always need to have stuff going on. I like to be in a place where there’s loud noises. Believe it or not, I’m like the weird person that my mind likes to focus on that while the other half of my brain is actually writing. So I don’t like quiet time. Quiet time for me to write. I don’t need that, like, I can write on my lunch hour at work with all the noises going on if I’m in the office. But usually, if I’m writing, I have the TV on and I’m on my couch writing. So I have to have noise, I have to have that.

Tara 16:34
That’s pretty cool. I can’t. I mean, obviously, I don’t write books like you. I can’t write. So the funny thing is, I don’t think most people know this. I actually have to do a lot of writing for my job at work. I’m a Product Marketer, which means I’m writing all the time. So I have to write messaging, like that kind of thing. And I can’t write if there’s like lyrics to music, but like, I also need to have like some kind of sound all the time. So I listen to a lot of like electronic music but like, my favorite place to read? If I have a choice, it either needs to be very quiet. So it’s like at night when my whole family is asleep. Or the airport. I-

Kris 17:13
That’s so loud.

Tara 17:14
-fucking love reading at airports. Also, nobody’s gonna bug you at an airport because nobody wants to talk to anybody else.

Kris 17:22

Tara 17:23

Kris 17:25
That’s wrong.

Tara 17:25
What’s wrong?

Kris 17:26
If you have your laptop out, and like it’s a crowded space?

Tara 17:30

Kris 17:31
Like I specifically remember I was flying back from Philadelphia. And I was sitting in a chair and I actually had my, my, I was writing a book. And so I’m writing and this lady next to me literally, like leans into my space to read what I’m reading or writing.

Tara 17:48
That’s demented.

Kris 17:50
You know, but it happens a lot. Like when I open a book to see what you’re doing.

Tara 17:54
She was raised wrong.

Kris 17:55
Well, a lot of people were raised wrong, because it happens a lot to me. So I feel like my bubble at an airport is so small, there’s no way I could do it.

Tara 18:03
Oh see I always have my Kindle.

Kris 18:07
Still, for some reason, like people just like, look here, somebody’s sitting here. I’m gonna sit next to her. Even though like the whole place is open. Like that always amazes me. So then I like get up and like go get a drink and then go sit somewhere else. But airports. I wonder

Tara 18:21
I wonder if I give off more fuck off vibes than you do.

Kris 18:25
Maybe I’m gonna have to look meaner.

Tara 18:27
Right? Just start growling at people. Bite them a little bit.

Kris 18:34
Yeah, so but reading the best place for me to read is my hammock. Hands down love my hammock. Love it! And I love to read out there.

Tara 18:42
Alright, do you want to read the next question?

Kris 18:45
Yes. So @fangrlluvspizza on Twitter says “Love the podcast. Do y’all have three top fav ships?” Tara, I’m gonna turn this over to you.

Tara 18:56
I actually do. Of course, the funny thing is, I really only have three ships. So it kind of works out perfectly. No, that’s not true. I mean, I’ll occasionally kind of dip my toe in like there were times when I want to read a particular scenario. And that’s where fanfic can be helpful because you can go on to Archive of our Own like I remember there was a day when I really just wanted to read a coffee shop story. And that’s the nice thing is you can go in and like you can just search for, like I was able to search for like coffee shop, ff pairings, sort by kudos. That’s kind of my favorite thing is like if I surfing kudos that’s usually the way to help me know like if cuz whatever has the most I take that as a sign of endorsement because it’s like, that’s the way you know that people really really liked it and I can get like, good stories that way. And so it might be like coffee shop. It might be like one bed, you know? Stranded? I don’t know. Fanfic is awesome for tropey goodness. So like, if I’m feeling like I want a trope, then that’s kind of a way I’ll go.

But I, like many people am pretty loyal to a couple of particular ships. My absolute hands down ride or die has been for aw geez I’m trying to think how long it’s been. Probably it’s been four or five years has to be Marandy, which is Miranda Priestly and Andy Sachs from Devil Wears Prada. I fucking love it. I like I cannot get enough of it. And it’s a really, really active fandom, as well. That movie’s been out for what, like 13 years or something like that? It’s been out forever. I’m also gonna say a thing. It’s kind of controversial. I don’t actually really love the movie. I’ve never read the book. I’m not interested in the book. And actually the people who write the fanfic don’t like the book either. But the fanfic, some of it is incredible. And I mean, the best of the best. I think most people agree is Truth and Measure by Telanu, which if you haven’t read it, you have to read it. It will like ruin your life and put it back together again. It is so good. It is almost 300,000 words.

Kris 21:27

Tara 21:28
I think I’ve read it four or five times now. It’s so freakin good. And actually Telanu is also known as Roslyn Sinclair, the lesfic author.Aand so a couple of her other Marandy stories have been rewritten as original fiction. So the Lily and the Crown and the X-Ingredient which, if you’ve read the fanfic versions, The Lily and the Crown is somewhat similar to the fanfic version. The X-Ingredient is completely different from the fanfic version, which is interesting, because the X-Ingredient is still very much set in that like, workplace scenario. But like, in the fanfic one it was- the setup is: Andy starts to work for Miranda and finds out that Miranda’s employees have an extra task, which is that they have to get Miranda off. And Andy’s like, “Well, I’m going to do it so good that I’m going wreck her life”. Then she does. But of course, how is that going to work as published fiction? Because with fanfic basically anything goes?

Kris 22:46

Tara 22:47
Right with published back. Especially post Me-Too. How is that ever possibly going to happen?

Kris 22:55

Tara 22:55
And the way it was rewritten, like hats off to Robyn Sinclair, because it was masterfully done. So really excellent book. But there are many, many other excellent authors doing fantastic things in that area. Jim Stanley, I think did a series, the name completely escapes me at the moment, but it’s very, very good. And Lee Winters book, The Brutal Truth, actually began as a Mirandy fanfic, and then were rewritten as original fic.

Also one other to plug, there’s one called Not Everyone, by SpacedMuch, which is so wonderful, really excellent. You can find it on Archive of our Own. The follow up is called Pure Shores and it is the most one of the most painful things I’ve ever read in the whole of my life. Part of which might have been because when I was reading it, it was not completed. But it’s like you get the happily ever after in Not Everyone and then you get the most painful breakup in Pure Shores, and I’m not sure I’ve actually fully recovered from that.

Okay, so my second we’ll call my runner up. My next other favorite ship is Swan Queen, or Emma and Regina from Once Upon a Time. The other hilarious thing about this is that I have only ever seen one episode of Once Upon a Time, I never got into the show.

Kris 24:29
Me neither. I’ve never even seen one episode.

Tara 24:32
No, but I was kind of drawn to it for similar reasons to why I was drawn to Marandy because of the ice queen element. Now of course, Mirandy has a couple of other things going for it and that like I love age gap stories, and at the time I was really into workplace romances and I’m not like quite as much now again, like I mentioned Me Too kind of as like a layer of ickiness that I’m not as comfortable with anymore but like Swan Queen don’t have that. So that’s nice. So it really just has- instead, it has the definite Ice Queen also has the rich girl poor girl dynamic works really, really well. And if you read enough of the fanfic, you kind of end up understanding enough of a world that it really doesn’t matter ig you watch the show or not, you just kind of get into these characters. It has the enemies to lovers going on really well. So I really love that. And the two writers that are just awesome, writing some really stunning, both long form and short words are coalitiongirl and starsthatburn.

And then my last one, which if you do subscribe to Kris’s Patreon, and you do listen to that Drunk Lesfic or watch that video, you will see Tagan Shepherd and I go on, at length, about this. It’s very much a rare pair. Which means there is not very much fanfic written about these two. But they are Aria T’loc and Tivos from the Mass Effect series, and very specifically for me, it is reading about them as Rae D. Magdon. Rae D. Magdon has written her- she’s written quite a bit of original fiction. She’s published by Desert Calm Press. I think almost exclusively. I could be wrong about that. But she has written so much fanfic Like she writes a staggering amount of fanfic. And she’s written a ton of like, Mass Effect, Legend of Korra, She-ra- like the new Shira series.

Kris 26:47
Oh, right.

Tara 26:48
I’m probably missing a bunch of other things, because I can’t keep up on all the things but like, for me, the Mass Effect fanfic is so fantastic. But this pairing in particular, I just adore, and the things that are going into it is that Tivos is a very high ranking government official. And Aria is the head of a major criminal enterprise. And it’s soooooooo gooooooood.

Kris 27:19
Am I gonna lose you again to Mass Effect for the third time?

Tara 27:22
No. I think I’m also very much in my feelings about this, because as we discussed in the last episode, I am playing through Mass Effect again. And so I just am feeling very nostalgic about this, I might have to go back and reread that series. So yeah those are my three. I love them. I kind of feel like I’m probably always going to be reading especially those first two pairings, I’m probably always going to read at least a couple few a year. I’ll always be reading at least a bit in those fandoms.

Kris 28:06

Tara 28:07
So on a totally different note. I think a lot of people listening probably would have seen that recently, the completely awesome website Autostraddle, recently put out a survey on their website that I know a lot of our mutual followers on Twitter had a lot of fun with. And it was a survey that lets you see the job that you would have in a lesbian romance. And we thought we could just take this survey together.

Kris 28:41
I think it’s great. Let’s do it.

Tara 28:42
But first, I thought Kris, you’re a lesbian romance author, how do you go about choosing jobs for your characters?

Kris 28:50
I would say that I look for jobs that interest me, because I’m going to have to do a lot of research on it. Or jobs that help the storyline. Like in my book, Listen, my character, you know, she was really into math and stuff, and I know nothing of math. But I needed her to have that, that background because of the whole music aspect of it. And so I just I kind of pick it just based on whether or not I like the job or that it’s going to advance the story somehow. Or you know, like Whirlwind Romance. I write about storm chasing, because I’m petrified and completely fascinated with tornadoes. So it just, it all depends on basically it’s what I like, you know, cuz I’m going to be spending a lot of time in this book between writing it, editing it, and then getting it ready for publication. It’s just, I have to really like something a lot to be in at that deep. So it’s more or less like, like right now I’m trying to come up with the next idea. I’m writing one, but I have to come up with something for the next book and I’m really struggling because you know, you want to pick something that’s that’s current events type thing and it’s just It’s hard because like right now my mind spinning because I’m doing a lot of things at once. And so I need to take like an hour out of my life and just come up with the next story idea. And it has to be something that is a job that people can relate to, that people are going to want to read about. And that kind of falls into the whole sweet romance guidelines.

Tara 30:20
Are you open to suggestions?

Kris 30:22
I can’t really go on suggestions. From you, for sure. But a lot of times, I mean, some people will send me emails and messages and say, “Hey, you should write about this”. But then if I write about that, where did that come from? Is it just like somebody wants me to write another book that sounds very similar to this author’s book. So I have to be careful that my ideas are not necessarily original, but original to me. They can just throw out a job, “Hey, maybe you should write about, you know, somebody like a baker?” Like, “Okay, cool”. You know, we’ve done a lot of baker stores in this world. And you know, maybe I could put a spin on it type thing, but I have to be careful that it’s not somebody else’s story seeps into mine type thing. So I’m pretty careful about- I come up with an idea or you know, I’ll totally trust you because you read like a bazillion books a year, so I can trust that you’re not going to give me something that somebody else has already done. Or if there’s not a lot of books written about this certain career.

Tara 31:18
Well, I’m pretty sure nobody’s written about a cat psychologist.

Kris 31:22
Cat psychologist? Yeah, you know? Yeah, no, I, I don’t know. Like, I have to Google I know. Google cats psychologists because I think I know cats pretty well. Just say, probably.

Tara 31:39
Alright, what job are we hoping this is gonna give us before we dive in? What do you think?

Kris 31:43
I have no idea what the options are. So, so let’s just wing it.

Tara 31:47
Alright. I’m gonna say doctor.

Kris 31:51
I’m probably going to like it will probably be librarian or something for me.

Tara 31:59
All right. Okay. First question. How comfortable are you at telling people what to do?

Kris 32:07
It’s my superpower.

Tara 32:10
Well, this okay, but we’re doing this together. So, how comfortable are we at telling people what to do? Very as long as it is “Be a good boy”. No. Weird. “I don’t even have to try, people just do what I say”. Interesting. “Can’t we all just work together and hopefully stuff will get done?” “I’m happy to demand anything I want.” I feel like that that probably the one I’m just going to click that.

Kris 32:39
Yeah, click that till we come up with something better.

Tara 32:42
“I’m a team player but I can take charge in an emergency”. You got your mad face on. Nobody can see that so I thought I’d say it out loud. “I’d rather go it alone.”

Kris 32:52

Tara 32:53
Also your mad face. Okay, “I like it when someone else takes charge as in really like it”

Kris 32:59
We’re talking about jobs right okay though.

Tara 33:01
Yeah, these are jobs. “I may as well shout at the wall for all the good it would do.” No. Okay, so I’m happy with “I’m happy to demand what I want.”

Kris 33:07
Yeah, that’s good.

Tara 33:08
Yeah, pick a jacket. Okay, they can’t see but there is an oversized leather jacket.

Kris 33:13
Like a motorcycle jacket.

Tara 33:15
Yeah, there is a huge blazer.

Kris 33:19
No, that’s a no for me.

Tara 33:21
There is a Gingham jacket that is not doing anything for me.

Kris 33:23
It looks like flannel, pink and gray flannel.

Tara 33:27
There is Billy Porter being fabulous. But I mean it’s Billy Porter so good for him. The hoodie.

Kris 33:44
The hoodie, I mean I wear a lot of hoodies but that’s because I’m also home.

Tara 33:48
Same but I also wear them out. There’s a there’s a doctor jacket.

Kris 33:54
That’s too white. Ooooh I like that one.

Tara 33:57
This blazer.

Kris 33:58
I like it but that’s okay I get let’s see what else we got.

Tara 34:01
It’s a very nice Gucci blazer or there is a puffy vest.

Kris 34:10
Okay so out of those six or whatever I think that one’s good-

Tara 34:16

Kris 34:17
You want to go with that one?

Tara 34:18
Yeah, let’s go with that one. Ok, “You are on a plane and the man next to you starts to talk about Bitcoin. What do you do?” Is there like an option to just pork chop him in the neck like you just straight up- “Get security to eject him from your plane” is the third option. I’m gonna just click on that and then we’ll see what the other ones are.

Kris 34:19

Tara 34:33
“Pretend to listen while you’re secretly watching Carol on the in flight entertainment”. No. Signal to the Air Steward to fake a medical emergency that you must rush to help with” No. “Feed him dairy deleche to let-” No.

Kris 34:56

Tara 34:57
I’m not even gonna finish reading that sentence. I’m not feeding this stranger.

Kris 35:02

Tara 35:03
“Fake an incoming call from your boss despite having no signal on a plane”. That’s kind of funny.

Kris 35:10
That is kind of funny.

Tara 35:11
“Laugh in his face at the concept you have money to invest in anything”. We just chose the Gucci jacket.

Kris 35:20
So we can’t really say that.

Tara 35:21
“Try to distract him with pictures of your dog.” The last one “Nod and smile while mentally composing a Pulitzer Prize winning story called Assholes Who Talk About Bitcoin”.

Kris 35:32
That’s pretty good.

Tara 35:33
That oneI think.

Kris 35:35
I think so. I think you’re right. Okay.

Tara 35:37
Hey, “Your BFF just moved to a new place. What do you get them as a housewarming gift? A bottle of Two Buck Chuck?”

Kris 35:45

Tara 35:46
“A Gingham Top Kilner Jar containing a sourdough starter.” Probably not. “A rabid microchip with up to date vaccination certificates”. Probably not. “An oversized bouquet of flowers.”

No, I don’t think SO. Actually, my BFF did just move and got a new place. So

What did you get them?

Kris 36:10
Um, you know, honestly, I don’t remember. I say just it was over the summer. So it’s, it’s over during the pandemic, they moved. KB Draper, she moved. Yeah, and I honestly can’t remember what I got her but I feel like so far, none of these, it would have been none of these.

Tara 36:27
No, “A minimalist but extremely expensive artwork”.

Kris 36:31

Tara 36:32
I feel like this is our closest so far. Uh, “A first aid kit”.

Kris 36:37
So you laugh at that, but let me tell you something. I am known to my family as a mother hen. Like for Christmas for my sister one of her Christmas gifts. She had just purchased a lake house. So I bought her the one of those huge massive fire extinguishers because nobody thinks about a fire extinguisher.

Tara 36:54
That’s fair.

Kris 36:55
So first aid kit isn’t too far. I mean, isn’t too far from something I would-

Tara 37:02
It is useful.

Kris 37:03
Not for my BFF though.

Tara 37:05
No, so the artwork is better then? Okay.

Kris 37:07
Okay. So yeah,

Tara 37:08
“A copy of the home edit a guide to organizing and realizing your house goals”. Absolutely not. Okay, “A doorbell with a video camera for snooping on your neighborhood with.”

Kris 37:18
That probably is pretty good. Like the Ring. I can’t tell you how much I pull up my Ring on a daily basis.

Tara 37:25
Yeah. Okay. We’ll pick that one.

Kris 37:26
Well, do you think so? I mean, I’m good for either one, the artwork or the doorbell but you make that decision.

Tara 37:31
I feel like the person who would compose the story Assholes Who Talk About Bitcoin would want to be able to snoop on the neighborhood.

Kris 37:39
That’s true. I think you’re right, so let’s stick with the doorbell. Okay.

Tara 37:42
“You suspect someone’s been stealing your lunch from the shared workplace. What do you do?” Oh, my God. The first one is so good. “Steal someone else’s lunch as compensation. Make a dramatic scene until the culprit gives it back. Bring in lunch for everybody the next day, someone must be struggling for cash if they had to steal yours.” I don’t think that- “Fire everyone.” Probably not.

Kris 38:07

Tara 38:07
“Interview everyone involved and write a detailed oral history of the lunch room fees”. Who has time for that?

Kris 38:14

Tara 38:15
“Who cares, you’re not getting a lunch break anyway?”

Kris 38:18

Tara 38:19
“Grab a bite to eat when you’re next sent out on errands.”

Kris 38:24

Tara 38:24
No, “If you get desperate that kitty kibble can’t be too bad can it?” That’s disgusting.

Kris 38:29
No. So me, I would make a dramatic scene until the culprit…I have no problem. I am that person who will confront- at work,I’m a totally different person.

Tara 38:39

Kris 38:39
Like people are kind of scared of me at work.

Tara 38:41
Oh, yeah.

Kris 38:42
They are. They are. It’s weird. It’s so weird. Because it’s like, I feel like, it’s I don’t know, I feel like I’m a totally different person at work than I am in real life. And I just feel like, I’m there to work. You know, if somebody is going to get in my way to prevent me from whether it’s eating my lunch or doing my job, I’m going to get in your face. I’m just gonna we’re just gonna like I had one… One time the admin person said something as I was walking away, and I just stopped and I turned around and I went back to her and go “We’re not going to do this. I need to know what is going on right now. What is your problem right now with me?” And it wasn’t like, “What’s your problem?” It’s like, it was like very, very calm.

Tara 39:21

Kris 39:21
You know, I need to know what is the matter what, what do you have against me right now? Why? Why did you just say what you did? And people don’t like confrontations at work. That they do not like it, I mean, people don’t like confrontations in life. But like we’re- I don’t have time. I do not have time for people to drag down my job or have emotional outbursts at something I have said so like, I nip it in the bud right away. I just do I just, you know, I’m there to work.

Tara 39:49

Kris 39:49
I’m not there to play. Yeah, yeah. So I feel like I would make a dramatic scene and you know, I would just be like, “Okay, I would like get on the intercom system and say, “Who’s the asshole who took my lunch? “Like, I will lock the doors. Nobody’s leaving until smell your breath. If I know what you’re eating, and then it’s my food we’re gonna- no, I wouldn’t be like that. But I would I would definitely like go to everybody. And you know, “Did you eat my lunch?”

Tara 40:10
So wait, does that mean then that you would interview everyone and write the detailed oral history?

Kris 40:15
No, I would not write the details. I would interview everyone, but I would not write the detailed history. So I feel like you’re right.

Tara 40:22
Dramatic scene?

Kris 40:22
Yeah, I feel like I would make a dramatic scene. Like who the hell ate my lunch? Bring it but you know, you owe me something.

Tara 40:27
Yeah. Okay. Well, now we need to pick a mode of transport. Okay, we have a speedboat. We have an ice cream truck.

Kris 40:37
Is that an ice cream truck? Sort of? But no ice cream?

Tara 40:41

Kris 40:42
It’s not a Chester the molester van It is not that but it looks-

Tara 40:45
Are you sure?

Kris 40:47
You know, the the sliding door looks- it’s almost like a UPS snub nose truck. But it’s white. But it’s got that that that sliding door.

Tara 40:57
Yeah, it’s like a real old van. It’s like they were afraid to use a proper VW van.

Kris 41:06
Right. We all know would pick that.

Tara 41:10
Right. It’s like they were afraid to use it for like licensing purposes or something like that. There’s a stretch limousine. There is a an ambulance. We are definitely not going to be doctors. There’s the subway. There is some old ass rickety bike. There is a Subaru. And there’s a motorcycle. Yeah, I feel like it’s probably the Subaru right? Like, surely one that I’m literally willing to drive out of all of these.

Kris 41:44
Oh, that’s true.

Tara 41:45
All right, fatal flaw. Just one. Work too much. Enable people’s worst habits. Vanity. You care about everyone except yourself. You let everyone trample all over you. Your employability is inverse to your level of education. You feel things too much or nosiness.

Kris 42:11
Ooo. Pick a flaw. I’m either gonna say for me personally I either worked too much, or my nosiness. One of the two.

Tara 42:18
Let’s go with nosiness. I think that would be more fun.

Kris 42:21
Yeah, I think so too.

Tara 42:24
Pick a classic 80s or 90s film.

Kris 42:25
Oh yes!

Tara 42:27
Flatliners, Broadcast News, Working girl, Mystic Pizza, Beethoven, Bowfinger, Jumpin Jack Flash and Clerks.

Kris 42:40
Oh. Three of those jump out to me right away because I love three of them.

Tara 42:45
I’m hoping one of them is Mystic Pizza.

Kris 42:47
Yes, Mystic Pizza is one. I also love Jumping Jack Flash because Whoopi Goldberg in the movie is priceless. And then Clerks was way beyond its time. I feel like it’s a very underrated cult classic. But at the same time, you need to be in the right frame of mind to watch it so probably between Mystic Pizza and Jumpin Jack Flash because who doesn’t like a good you know, I mean, I just remember Whoopi Goldberg trying to figure out what the code is and she’s like, “Speak English”.

Tara 43:18
Let’s do it.

Kris 43:20
Okay, okay.

Tara 43:22
Okay, we need to pick shoes. I don’t even know how to describe these.

Kris 43:25
Those are called… they’re cap toed Oxfords

Tara 43:29
All right.

Kris 43:30
I sell shoes. I used to sell shoes. I know all about shoes. I am a shoe girl.

Tara 43:35
Okay, this is revealing. You’re gonna describe this section.

Kris 43:42
Okay, well then you have your basic black pumps, you know? Oh, then you have your like white Keds. The soccer mom travel around, drop the kids off shoes. Oh, then you have your little sex kitten. high heeled. What are they called? They’re like, are they rhinestones? Or is that like,

Tara 44:02
I think so.

Kris 44:03
Like sandals? Three inch heel type? Strappy? Ah! Crocs. Crocs. Then you have your Converse, your checks.

Tara 44:13

Kris 44:14
Then you have your hiking boots.

Tara 44:16

Kris 44:17
And then you have your badass motorcycle, chunky black leather with buckles and laces.

Tara 44:26
So what do you think?

Kris 44:28
Okay, so the ones I would actually wear and do wear on a daily basis, I wear checks. I wear hiking boots, I wear crocs. I’m not gonna lie. I’m a frickin croc lover. I wear them to take Molly out because they’re right there by the door. I can slip them on, slip them off.

Tara 44:43
We’re not using crocs.

Kris 44:46
I’m just telling you MY history. If I were to pick one, I would either pick. I would pick either the last like, cuz I have a shit ton of motorcycle shoes. I have hiking boots and I also have checks. So I’m gonna let you pick. This is yours.

Tara 45:02
Let’s do the chucks.

Kris 45:03
Okay, that works.

Tara 45:05
Okay. Oh my god, how many more questions? There’s three more questions? Okay.

Kris 45:08
This is gonna be the whole podcast.

Tara 45:12
You’re swiping through a dating app and notice someone hot from work. What do you do? “Message them immediately, your job sucks with the a potential for popups it may suck slightly less”. Probably not. “Spend six hours internet stalking them to see if it’s worth you making a move”. “Ignore it. It would be inappropriate to pursue a colleague but you and still fantasize about it.” “Start making inscrutable romantic gestures to convey your attraction in a way they cannot possibly understand.” Kris is making rude gestures that none of you can see right now. “Text them an NDA followed by a nude.” “Sign up for the same shift as them so you can flirt awkwardly for 12 hours”. “Say nothing and spend the remainder of your working life pining for them” or “This means they must be the only other queer in town, start planning your wedding immediately”. I don’t know. What do you think?

Kris 46:12
I think I probably ignore it. I would I would either- Like the option isn’t there.

Tara 46:18
No, right?

Kris 46:20
Right. I think ignoring it is probably the safest thing to do anyway.

Tara 46:24
Yeah. Yeah. All right. What is your ultimate career goal? “World domination? For people to like me.” Gross. Wow, that was unfiltered. But you know, here we are. “Fame, but also privacy”. That’s interesting. That’s Lynn Aimes’s book All That Lies Within pretty much. Yeah, like one tag line. “To make it to retirement before I have a heart attack”. That’s like, but that that might be my answer. Okay, “The pursuit of truth to serve others the best I can, To make rent, To be honest, I just want to play with puppies.”

Kris 47:08
Who doesn’t want to play with puppies?

Tara 47:10
Who doesn’t? Okay, what’s our character’s ultimate career goal?

Kris 47:15
Fame, but also privacy, To make rent or Play with puppies. I mean, I guess my ultimate career goal. I mean, I want to write books, and I want to be good at writing books. And I want a lot of people to buy my books. So perhaps Fame, but privacy. I mean, I’m all for like, here I am.

Tara 47:32
Let’s go with that one. Because it’s hilarious.

Kris 47:38
All right.

Tara 47:39
“Pick a location to base your head office, Manhattan, Rural New England, LA, Washington, DC, somewhere cheap in a flyover state, Chicago, San Francisco or any of the above”.

Kris 47:53
Um, so I have FOMO. So I feel I have to live in a city. Because as beautiful and wonderful as rural New England sounds, I gotta get close to something, I have to be like in the thick of it. So I’m gonna have to say somewhere where there’s lots of people, and there’s lots of noise. I’m all about the noise.

Tara 48:12
All right.

Kris 48:13
I’m at the wallflower. But I like noise. So I’m either going to pick Manhattan. LA has water issues, so I can’t really go there. Chicago, San Francisco. I would say anywhere like Manhattan or Chicago. How do you feel about this? Like what what are your thoughts on this?

Tara 48:29
I like San Francisco because I live in a cold place.

Kris 48:35
You live in a cold place. So we need so the warmest place like San Francisco really isn’t that warm. I mean, you know, it really isn’t. It’s not like LA hot if you want hot let’s go to LA, let’s set up shop in LA.

Tara 48:46
Okay, let’s go to LA.

Kris 48:48
Okay, LA.

Tara 48:49
Okay, moment of truth.

Kris 48:50
`Here we go. What do we get? Is it working? It’s working

Tara 48:54
It’s thinking.

Kris 48:57
So excited.

Oh, scroll down.

Tara 49:02
<gasp> A Hollywood actress! “You didn’t learn your award winning acting schools from high school drama club but from a lifetime of pretend to the public, you are not extremely and obviously queer as fuck. Despite your management team feeding your fears, you’ll never land a leading role. If you come out and running interference every time you’re sitting with a woman. It’s high time you turn up at an award show and announce that you’re here today because you are gay”. You know what I love about this so much? I fucking love these books. They are some of my absolute favorites. Like that’s one of my favorite tropes. I love it. I will show up every single time. I actually burned myself out on celebrity romances a couple of years ago because there was like a massive run of them. And I was like, “Give me everyone. Give me every single one. I’m gonna read them all”. And then I was like, “I’m tired. I need a break”. Because I read-

Kris 49:58
Maybe that’s what I need to do. Maybe I need to write about a Hollywood-

Tara 50:01
Yes! Write me a Hollywood! Do it, I love it. Speaking of Hollywood, Kris what can you been reading or watching?

Kris 50:10
Okay, so I’m still under the influence of The Handmaid’s Tale every week. I go and I watch it as I have.

Tara 50:20
Is it getting more hopeful or?

Kris 50:23
It is getting more hopeful. I’m gaining a lot of hope watching this. Like I can’t wait to Wednesday’s come around until I can sit down and watch it because I feel like you know, here’s the deal. Like some episodes I’m like, “That is the best episode. I’m so glad this happened”. And there are other episodes like “Why the fuck did they waste an hour of my time?” But I know that they’re setting things up. I know that it’s all set up. So I have to like say, “Okay, I get it. Okay, this works”. So yes, I’m still torturing myself with Handmaid’s Tale. And I just started- the second season of Ragnarok came out, which is, here let me the pull up the definition of it. I saw the first season and was gonna mention it. I don’t think I did last last year.

Tara 51:03
Is it related to Thor?

Kris 51:05
It is. Did I talk about it?

Tara 51:07
No. Okay, well, I believe that not only is Thor: Ragnarok the best of the Thor movies, but it is actually the perfect movie if you want to have a movie for the bisexuals. Like if you want to have like a bisexual movie celebration night there’s something for everybody.

Kris 51:28
So this is a TV series on Netflix. I for once didn’t speak to the magical remote and I said- It’s on Netflix for sure because I saw it the first time and the character who was represented- it’s basically teenagers. Thor and Loki as teenagers.

Tara 51:46

Kris 51:47
And how they come about to become who they are. So the first one really focuses on Thor discovering who he is. Yeah, he’s a teenager, he goes to school. And his brother in the second season focuses more on Loki who is definitely queer. And it’s kind of interesting because at one of the episodes I watched, I think I’m only three episodes in. But one of the episodes the mom sits the brother of Thor goes he says to Loki, which good they have other real names. They don’t call each other Thor and Loki, but that’s who they are. And he’s like, “Are you wearing makeup?” And like Loki’s like, “Yeah”, and the mom walks in and she goes, “I think it’s great that you’re discovering your, you know, playing, not playing but just kind of like expressing yourself wearing, you know, not really conforming to a gender specific gender”. She goes “I experimented when I was 17 too”. So there’s like a lot of support from the mom, you know, and Loki comes in. He’s like, “You know, I I feel something for somebody” and the moms like, “What’s her name?” And he’s like, “Well, it’s a guy”. She’s like, “Cool”. So I mean, there’s a lot of support and, and so I’m excited to see what happens not just with the whole Loki thing, but just the also the queerness of it, too. Yeah, so I’m watching that as well. So what about you, Tara, what have you been reading or watching?

Tara 53:07
So I’ve been reading How To Find A Princess by Alyssa Cole. It is another book in her Runaway Boreal series, which some of the books have male-female pairings. Some of them have queer pairing. This is one that has two women. And this one is actually an Anastasia retellings so it’s cute, it has neurodivergent rep.I’m not super far in it. I think I’m about 10-15% of the way through because I only read on my Kindle. I don’t think in terms of pages, I think in terms of percentages.

Kris 53:38
Exactly, because who knows pages on the Kindle.

Tara 53:41
Yeah, exactly. So I’m just going to read the blurb. Makeda Hicks has lost her job and her girlfriend in one fell swoop. The last thing she’s in the mood for is to rehash the story of her grandmother’s infamous summer fling the runway prince from Ibarania or the investigator from the World Federation Monarchy’s tasked with searching for Ibarania’s missing heir. Yet when Beznaria Chetchevaliere crashes into her life, the sleek and sexy investigator exudes exactly the kind of chaos that organized and efficient Makeda finds irresistible, even if Bez is determined to drag her into a world of royal duty Makeda wants nothing to do with. When a threat to her grandmother’s livelihood pushes Makeda to agree to return to Ibarania, Bez takes her on a transatlantic adventure with a crew of lovable weirdos, a fake marriage, and one-bed hijinks on the high seas. When they finally make it to Ibarania, they realize there’s more at stake than just cash and crown, and Makeda must learn what it means to fight for what she desires and not what she feels bound to by duty.

So I wasn’t super sure at first because that first chapter where Makeda gets fired. And it’s like not only does she get fired, but somebody who is much worse at the job gets promoted over her and I was like, “Well, this is pissing me off”.

Kris 55:00

Tara 55:01
And then you see her girlfriend leaving. And like, in the way her girlfriend leaves is really mean. And I was like, “What?” But then it goes on, and you meet Bez. And it’s almost a farce. And it’s hilarious. And it’s like you meet her boss and he’s this white guy from a former monarchy in this made up, well, a former fake monarchy, somewhere in I believe Europe. He’s this white guy and his family basically paid for it. And it was like a plot of land that was smaller than Vatican City. And it was only for two years in the 1940s. Basically, just like highlighting the absurdity of monarchies anyway. And his name is like 20 letters long, but it’s pronounced Smith. And so it’s kind of like if you can embrace some of the silliness. It’s a lot of fun. And so the point that I’m at now is like Bez is kind of crashed her way into Makeda’s life. And so I’m really kind of curious to see where it goes. It’s fun. Like the setup is kind of fun now. And, you know, there’s been a lot of retellings. I think in lesfic, in the last few years, there haven’t been I don’t think i’ve seen more of Anastasia before. So I’m curious to see where this one goes. And especially, you know, seeing a book about two black woman, and especially ones written by a black woman, then more diverse rep is always a good thing.

So I’m pretty excited about this one. And the other one that I’m not reading about right now, but I can’t remember if I was talking about it a few episodes back, but I’m very excited because it’s had its wide release is the Menopause Manifesto, by Dr. Jen Gunter. This book is absolutely crucial. If you are going through perimenopause or menopause, if you’ve been through it, if you know somebody I highly, highly, highly recommend it. Dr. Jenn is on a mission. This book is all about evidence based information. Because you know, a lot of the information that’s out there, a lot of the things they’re trying to sell to us is highly predatory. Because there is money to be made. There is a knowledge vacuum. And the people rushing in to try to fill it are unfortunately not always good people with our best interests in mind. And she is on a mission to empower people. And I know for myself, I personally have been having much better and more fruitful conversations with my doctor about my care. And so I’m really excited about this, I signed up for her substack and have been continuing to get more good information about that. And so the thing I like about that is because of course, you know a book really kind of represents the best information at that point in time. And so eventually it’s going to go stale. And so I’m going to continue following her there. And I am going to brag a tiny bit, I actually had the opportunity to join Sara Wndel from Smart Bitches Trashy Books, as she interviewed Dr. Jenn. So we interviewed her together on the Smart Bitches podcast. And if you want to have a listen to that, we will include the link in the show notes. I luckily had about a month to get used to that information, or I would have completely lost my shit because she is one of my personal heroes. I just love everything to do with Dr. Jenn. So yeah, highly, highly, highly recommend that book. I will say, you know, for our non binary and trans friends, it’s not as queer friendly as I would have hoped. It’s pretty focused on cis women, which I can also understand because it is very hard to get good medical help that is competent. When it comes to menopause. Unfortunately, most doctors are not getting good training related to menopause even for cisgender women.

Kris 59:21

Tara 59:21
But I would say that if you do have a uterus and you identify as non binary, it’s still going to have information that’s really important for you to have. So I would still encourage you to check it out. Because you know as we continue through our lives, and we experience that loss of estrogen, there are things that we need to do to protect our bodies, especially related to heart disease and bone density loss. Because if we don’t, it can be really disastrous for health outcomes for the rest of our lives. So If you can, go into it just knowing that you, unfortunately might be a little difficult. Knowing from like the pronoun perspective, you might not get what you need. But the rest of the information is still important and powerful for protecting your body for the rest of your life. So Kris, it’s time for official recommendations. What is yours?

Kris 1:00:31
Well, I talked a little bit about a series that was on FX called Pride is a documentary series and is on FX and I talked about the first episode, I’d only seen the first episode, but I figured it was probably going to be a recommendation for me. And it totally is. So this podcast, and given the fact that it is Pride Month, June is Pride Month. So great timing, of course, I’m sure that was planned. But everyone needs to watch the series. It’s important for our history, for queer history, especially trans rights and people of color like this is this is a great series for that. So like it goes through each decade. So the episode that I watched, the first one was actually, the title of the episode is 1950s People Had Parties and the rest of the title just for every decade. So it’s gonna be impossible to take six hours worth of information and break it down in like a 10 minute recommendation. But I thought I would kind of highlight some of the important things each decade. So the 1960s, the episodes called Riots and Revolutions. There were a lot of riots in the 60s. And everybody knows about ’69 Stonewall, like that seems to be like everybody says, “Oh, that’s the big breakout riot. But like, that’s not true. There were so many different riots that happened prior to Stonewall that the television and newspapers didn’t cover because they didn’t want to give queers any sort of acknowledgement or any sort of, you know, any sort of press, they always say, you know, any press is good press. So they just took it out. They just nobody ever talked about it. Nobody reported on it. So it was really interesting. The 60s, you know, Pride was actually born and earned from the riots of the 60s, like the whole Pride thing. And the very first Pride Parade, which really wasn’t a parade, it was a protest. So like, the first prides were protests.

The first one was in 1970. And it took place, you know, in the big cities, New York, San Francisco, and they were just, they were their political and they were way to gather and protest. And there was also the growing women’s movement of just lesbians becoming identifying with that word, you know, “Actually, okay, yes, I am a lesbian”. And then there are the women’s the feminists. And it was interesting, because the two groups would fight, there was a huge thing about feminism, and they didn’t want to be accused of being lesbians. And so the lesbians are like, “Well, surprise, guess what a lot of your feminists are lesbians?” So like it focuses the 70s focuses a lot on the women’s movement.

And the 80s. Of course, the AIDS pandemic talked about the AIDS pandemic, and how that was one, when I kind of was aware of life and news and activism was in the 80s. And the AIDS thing was absolutely, it was horrifying. When it first came out. I still remember it. And I remember people on Johnny Carson talking about it, and I looked at my Dad, I’m like, “What are they talking about? What do they mean, it’s manmade?” You know? So I think it was Steven Seagal of all people said, “It’s manmade”. And I’m like, I don’t understand what that means, Dad. So my Dad had to explain it to me. Yeah, so the 80s was very, it was interesting, because they asked for help. They ask the government for help. And the government just kind of blew it away, like, “Oh, well”, they said, you know, “This was unint, like religious groups used AIDS against the queer community. And they said it was “unintended good consequences by wiping out the perverted social group”. So it was really interesting.

And that’s when safe sex. I don’t know if you remember if you know a lot about American politics, but Nancy Reagan was like, safe sex, there was all about safe sex. And I just remember having a bumper sticker on my locker, in high school saying, wrap that rascal, and it was a condom. And like, and that was like a big thing. You know, for me to have that in my locker. I thought for sure. You know, I was going to the principal’s office, and there wasn’t really, you know, freedom of speech. I was part of the newspaper. And anyway, so that was real big for me, was 80s and learning about that. And the 90s was about cultural wars. It was the first time that LGBTQ actually came up in the election, you know, with Clinton, and everybody thought, you know, Clinton was going to be the hero but he signed the DOMA act, you know, the Defense of Marriage Act, but then he also brought about the defense directive, you know, the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. So there’s a lot of history going on. And the funny thing is, the very last episode was the 2000s. You know, just all the 2000s, up to 2020. And there’s an explosion of gay exposure like movies, televisions, shows you remember, I mean, you know all of those. And then also, here’s something that was really big that Obama signed into law was the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crime Prevention Act.

And do you remember Matthew Shepard, you remember both of those? Remember that? Yeah. So here’s the thing that I hate is like, we have this crime thing that that was signed into law. And yet, fuckin Trump just like comes in. It’s like, it’s okay, go ahead and do whatever you want. And so like, all these people come out, and we have gone backwards because of Trump. I feel like, you know, he’s made it okay to fucking hate people again. And it’s like, so, you know, basically, in conclusion, I recommend this documentary, to understand where we come from, like, if you’re a member, or if you’re an ally, it’s important to know our history, you know, we’ll always have history, we’re always gonna have to fight to be heard, we’re always gonna have to fight to be recognized. And we’re always gonna have to fight for equality. And that’s just a given. So I think this is an important document for all of us to see and know about the history, I learned a lot. There’s a lot that I did not know about. So it’s six hours. But I think it’s, it raised a lot of questions, but then it made sense to me as well. So yeah, that’s my recommendation.

Tara 1:05:26
I think especially right now. I think a lot of people forget, or never knew where pride came from, you know, they think pride is just corporate woke washing, you know, you wear the T shirt, or the bracelets, you go to the party downtown. And they don’t necessarily know that it came out in the struggle. And there was literally, it was illegal, and that there are people in our community that were- that are literally still alive. And it was illegal at the time to be gay. And you can see it even in like, go back and read The Swashbuckler. And you can read about that. And right now, there are so many states, introducing bills to strip away rights from trans people.

Kris 1:07:20
Right. And this really does focus on trans people a lot, like through the decades it goes through. And it makes sure to discuss it, to talk about what happened, how they have changed, how there has been help along the way. And a lot of the pioneers who have helped along the way. And also, I will say this, it was really interesting. I’m sitting there watching the whole documentary, and Jewel Gomez shows up, and they interview her I was like, I love Jewel. So it’s kind of cool, because, you know, I met Jewels at GCLS Golden Crown, the conference that they have. And so it’s just really interesting, because I was like, “Okay, now I’m even more invested in this because people I know are speaking out about this and are talking to people who can actually, you know, get out there and get in front of people”. So I loved it.

Tara 1:08:09
Well, I don’t think a lot of people understand because they’re, sometimes the talk is like, well, being trans is new, and it’s like being trans not absolutely not new. There was so much research actually about trans experience that like the Nazis literally burned down and had destroyed.

Kris 1:08:34

Tara 1:08:34
Like just absolutely destroyed because literal Nazis didn’t want that and it’s like we are kind of facing a tipping point again, and so yeah, go check this out.

Kris 1:08:48
Yeah, Ithink you would really enjoy it. I think you I know for sure. You’d have a lot to say about Yes. So I recommend it especially to you.

Tara 1:08:59
Thank you for I need to see where in Canada I can get it.

Kris 1:09:03
It’s on Netflix. Like you can get Netflix or no? Can you not get Netflix?

Tara 1:09:07
I can get Netflix. You said it was on FX.

Kris 1:09:09
It might be through Netflix too. I think that might have been one of those where I spoken to the magic remote for you.

Tara 1:09:18
I don’t have a magic remote.

Kris 1:09:20
Well, I mean, for sure. Netflix. I mean, I said it and it says FX but I think it was actually through Netflix that it did it. Oh, it’s one of those so for sure. Look at it. So enough about that because I know we’re like this is gonna be like a podcast that’s eight hours long. So Tara, what is your big recommendation for us this week?

Tara 1:09:40
Similar to you it is one that I’m picking up from last week. Unlike yours, it’s incredibly light hearted.

Kris 1:09:49
Mine was super heavy but super informative.

Tara 1:09:51
So watch Pride and then when you’re like, “Woof that was heavy but important. And then when you need to pick me up get the book Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stetz-Waters because Holy shit this book is adorable. So I’m going to start with the blurb and it is when it comes to her career Kate has it all figured out, only professional talk has become her default mode. Relationships are non existent and don’t even mention the word orgasm. All work and no play makes Kate a dull human. But when she inherits a sex toy store, Kate is caught between business and a store filled with every imaginable kind of pleasure including her infuriatingly irresponsible and deliciously sexy new beau. Selena Mathis learned the hard way that she can have too much of a good thing, which is precisely why she’s taken an oath of celibacy and is focusing on how to make Satisfaction Guaranteed of success. That’s the name of the store. She won’t mess this up. Not this time. But once again, Selena’s emotions are getting in the way and tempting her with a serious attraction to buttoned up Kate, but the shop isn’t exactly vibing and Kate can’t see what they did there. And Kate and Selena are on the verge of losing both their income and the possibility of love. Can they find a way to work together before Satisfaction Guaranteed runs out of batteries? I love the puns in this. I hate puns so much but every pun in this blurb is working for me, like it’s just so cute.

Kris 1:11:29
I’m the same. I dislike puns immensely. But yeah, I agree. This made me laugh. So that’s good, so successful.

Tara 1:11:35
Oh my god. So this is probably gonna go down as one of my favorite books this year. It is so fun, and sweet and lovely. And yet it is also a really nice surprise because it deals with some really serious subject matter in really deft and delicate ways. It’s a total opposites attract romance, like you can’t really get more opposites attract than this and so like Kate, obviously has the job. So she runs her parents Art Gallery, she’s actually a co owner with them. She and each of her parents each own, like a 1/3 stake in this art gallery in New York City. And it’s a really well respected Art Gallery. Selena used to be an artist, she was actually in art school, and she showed really great promise. And because she was in a relationship with one of her professors who ended up pretty deeply bullying her. And that relationship crashed and burned. She kind of needed to find her way into a new life. And that’s how she ended up meeting kids and who owned the store. And so Ruth is. So Ruth has Kate’s aunt who in the store, and Ruth hired Selena and let Selena kind of live in this little home of practical property. And so when Ruth dies, she leaves it to both of them in kind of this, who knows why Ruth does what she does. And she had a hunch that they would work together. Who knows we never meet Ruth but she seems to be kind of one of these. Ruth works in mysterious way. Her store just sounds completely bonkers.

Like it’s full of like of tchotchkes and like what the fuck is his place, of course, dildos all over the place, and vibrators and whatever it is, but like they each bring things that the other needs. They complement each other really well. It opens with a funeral. And like the opening scene is out Ruth’s funeral and I loved it. And I actually like I really knew that I was in for something special when I like I opened it on my Kindle. And the very opening lines were Kate elegant sat in the first Pew at whole heart departures funeral home feeling out of place because she was the only person in the whole room in the room not wearing gold LeMay she wore a dark suit, dry cleaner, expensive and I was like, “Fuck, yeah. Thank you for this”. And like it just was fabulous. edibles were passed around at the funeral, by the way. And it was like and her introduction to Selena is fabulous. Because it’s Selena is giving the eulogy, and she could tell that Selena is terrifed But like she opens the eulogy by talking about the name that Ruth gave to her clitoris. And like, it just it was the perfect like, I knew what this book was. Or I thought I knew what it will be. And it turned out to be so much more because like it is a romantic comedy. It absolutely is. But it also is this book where both of these characters are desperately seeking belonging. And I really loved that because Kate’s parents are nuts. And I say that lovingly. I don’t say that in a way to like poke fun at mental illness because I do not have a person that you know, with anxiety every day, I do not mean to do that. But they are painted as these very free spirited people. And there’s a running joke throughout the book about how they may or may not fill the art gallery with alpaca.

And they have a running joke throughout their life about how Kate was switched at birth with a baby from a family of accountants, because she really does like she is the reason why the gallery is so successful. And you can tell that it hurts. Because you know, because there’s this talk about well what real elegance do. And she is the best chance at turning Satisfaction Guaranteed around because she is a true business person she can like she gets it. But also she doesn’t know shit aboutthis product.


Yeah, she doesn’t know anything about that. Because as it says in the blurb like she’s never had, she’s never had an orgasm, and she also feels tremendous shame about this. She’s only had sex six times in her life. And it didn’t go well. And so she carries. She carries this shame. And then you have Selena, who’s had lots and lots of sex. And the reason she’s taken this oath of celibacy is that that’s actually how she medicates is with sex. And so she’s trying to figure out okay, how do I find my place in this world? Ruth had become her anchor. And her anchor is gone. And so how does she belong now? When they have literally a month different everything around? And it’s just beautiful. This book is so good. It is. Yeah, like I said, I think it’s going to go down as one of my absolute every time I say go down. It’s, it’s lovely. It’s funny. It made me laugh out loud. I love that at times. It it just it absolutely works. I can’t recommend it enough. Good. Absolutely. Hands down. unqualified recommendation. Everything about it works for me. Go get it. Oh, everybody. It it released on June 1. So I’m not even doing that rude thing where I say go get it when it comes out. No, I don’t know. Bye. Bye. Buy buy for yourself buy for your friends.

Oh, you have ever cuz you have a really cool thing about it is that I don’t know if it’s because it was an advanced reader copy. But it should be I believe it’s going to be like this when it releases. It has bookclub questions at the back. So actually, if you have a book club, read it with your friends. Nice. So well, you don’t have friends anymore. We’ve talked about this. That’s right, you you cut ties with all your friends. They all gave you bad recommendations. Make some friends, I need their friends. And then you can read this book with. That is all for this episode. Thank you so much, everybody for joining us for listening to us for sitting with us while we took the quiz. You were as entertained as we were. If you have enjoyed the show. Please subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. please consider leaving a review especially on Apple podcasts. Like we said earlier, it truly does make a difference in helping other people find this and especially like if you find our recommendations valuable. Hopefully, it will help somebody else find them valuable too.

Kris 1:19:28
And if you want to connect with us on your favorite social media sites to search for @queerlyrecommended on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, or email us at podcast@ we’re pretty vocal in all those places. So that’s it. Goodbye, everybody.

Tara 1:19:44


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